Despite all of this I still care for her very much, but she will officially have no one left. I used to respond by being harsh to myself. Personality disorders in general, and borderline personality in particular, have been blamed on everything from brain malfunction and inadequate upbringing to social and cultural conditions. Keeping the Spark Alive in Your Relationship, 3 Ways to Hold a Blame-Shifter Responsible, 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, An Addiction Myth That Needs to Be Revisited, 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. How do we begin our communication or change it to avoid more conflict & pain? Th verbal and emotional abuse reaches very high levels, including abusive behaviour to the kids, another temper outburst from me after taking months and months of incredible verbal abuse and facilitating her drinking and what I now believe was searching for a new source, while I take main responsibility for the kids, she, in the end, leaves me for a lesbian relationship which I am supposed to have driven her too. She is 30 but had a hard time of it for many years. I feel that you are stereotyping people with bpd unfairly. Just to add she always wanted to be do things alone. However, beauty and charm offer very little protection from toxic childhood situations that leave people damaged. When a woman with traits of BPD is in her happy mood, yes, she is 100 percent feeling it. Taking accountability means putting aside your own selfish motives and sparing the feelings of those who make the mistake of hitching their wagons to these extremely damaged human beings. (Just to preface this question, I am a 47 yr old woman.) Best of luck! We finally got together and she just reeled me in . I spent every night working with him on his homework and his teacher thanked me for whatever I was doing to motivate him. I know they are real and she meant them but I wonder if someone like her or women with traits of BPD feel betrayed when those proclamations are not returned or at least not as equal. Of course, if you see what problems you have, and if your partner truly understands how you work and when to leave it alone. Right as we were looking for engagement rings, she freaks out and ends its. Wherein a person becomes only bad in her eyes and there is no convincing her otherwise. For my own part, Ive worked very hard over the past 20 years to develop my own skills and self awareness, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what traits are important for me in a partner so that we can support, learn from, and grow with each other rather than reduce and denigrate. She is committed to re-establishing your identity. Either way, without an ironclad guarantee that she cannot be hurt, she will be unwilling to trust him again. Do you know what that is like?? We offer mindset coaching only for individuals nationally and internationally. This will cause you to revert back to just being yourself feeling they didnt hold up their end of the bargain. The consequences of the instinct to associate non-conforming behavior with contamination are very serious and can easily lead to violence towards minority groups or those who dont conform. The spousal relationship is perhaps the most intimate of all.
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